My Evolution


In a past life, I was an elementary school teacher. Then I retired and felt free to “go public” with my kinky sexual side.  I found a wonderfully supportive community and made many new friends who are helping me grow into my true authentic self.  What a gift!

A little more than a year ago, I was offered a part-time gig as an adjunct professor at a college, teaching future teachers. I accepted the position with excitement and anticipation of re-entering the comfortable world of education.  But I quickly discovered that this role didn’t fit me any longer. Been there, done that. I was ready for something new.

I’m still a teacher at heart. That part felt right.  But I no longer wanted to teach the content of my past.  I needed to grow in a new direction.  I decided that I wanted to teach about sex.

But how does someone become a sex educator? I started looking around on the internet. I found online degree programs and national organizations like ASSECT that could help me find a path.

Then I rediscovered  Over twenty years ago, I found Betty Dodson’s book Sex for One on a bookstore shelf. My therapist at the time advised me to work on loving myself and I figured that included my sexual self too. Betty’s book helped me get back in touch with the joy of masturbation and orgasmic self-loving.  Via her website, I learned that Betty is still teaching at age 87 and facilitates Bodysex groups in her own apartment in New York City.  Even better, I could get certified by her as a Bodysex facilitator myself. From personal experience, I appreciated Betty’s work. Her philosophy and message was one that I could stand behind.

So I took a giant first step last May 2016 and participated in Betty’s Bodysex group. There were many gifts from that experience.  Most importantly, I felt a deep awareness that becoming a Bodysex facilitator was the right path for me.

I spent the summer reading all of Betty’s books and exploring I watched videos, listened to podcasts, and read blog posts. The more I learned, the more passionate I became about empowering women and liberating orgasms.

I decided that if I truly believed in female masturbation, I needed to bring it out of the closet in my own life. I started telling my vanilla and kinky friends that I want to become a sex educator and that I believe self-pleasuring is the key to improving our sex lives as women. Almost everyone was receptive to the information that I shared. Some women were ready for bite-sized pieces that are easier to digest and assimilate.  Others couldn’t wait to experience genital show and tell or join in a circle jerk of women.  The bottom line is that I learned there is a real need for this work of empowering women through masturbation.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I recently returned from my second Bodysex workshop with Betty and Carlin. This session was specifically for women that want to become certified as facilitators. Betty drafted us all to become soldiers in her orgasm army. I felt like I was sitting at the feet of a guru as Betty spoke. I learned so much while having a great time with my Bodysex sisters. My path to becoming a sex educator is a little more clearly defined. I’ve been given the green light by Betty and Carlin to start teaching and facilitating groups when I am ready.  I feel rejuvenated and excited for this next chapter in my life.  I hope someday that I’m the teacher for that student who is ready.

Carlin, Betty, and Me
Carlin, Betty, and Me

Leave a Reply